Biography of Errors and Faith (Insight and Honesty)

I just wrote this today, and its only a rough version, I plan to edit. but feel free to comment I used to think I knew it all. More than the average person, that's for sure. I thought I had it all figured out. In hindsight, I can't understand why I thought self-mutilation, denial and confusion meant I knew. It wasn't a period of clarity, but rather the exact opposite. You might say I saw the world with blinders; the little that I could see straight ahead was clear enough, but everything else was so cloudy and out of focus that I had no idea I was missing anything. It finally came to a point where the scars on my arms were no longer an accurate representation of who I was. I was left alone, this cracked and scarred shell of a person completely devoid of innards, of any substance at all. I was left to myself to rebuild, stitch myself up and start from scratch. This was by no means an overnight process, I had been trying for ages, unsuccessfully, and I was tired of it. I finally sat down and thought about what I hadn't tried. I asked myself "why do I feel so empty inside?" It came into my head that all that could fill me the way I wanted to be filled would be the biggest challenge I would ever face. I needed to open my heart to God through Jesus. So I began the process of making myself open, spent a few nights crying, but eventually fell asleep smiling each night. Now I am proud to say that my life is whole. I have new values, and a new outlook. I can't say that I know any more than I did. In fact, its probably even less. All I know is I am ready to live.